Sunday, September 6, 2015
After So long
I'm back.. after so long , unfortunately not at a happy moment in life.
Guess its fine to pour my heart out anyway here since no one reads my blog anymore i'm sure..
well ok there's still a chance, but i don't really care after several glasses of gordon bleu.
Alright her it goes, life is at a all time low, work, family, relationship all going down a endless spiral.
oh FML FML FML.. everyone says it will all be well, well the process to the well aint doing well now.
feel like shit at home everyday , everyday job hunt aint cutting out well too, day in day out all the same fucking jobs..
repeats and repeats, its just how despo i'm getting trying for jobs i usually won't want anymore..
well like x.l says, beggars can't be pickers, which is so true..
ah yes its 130am right now. and y the fuck di i spent whole day at home, coz i was silly enuf to wait for something that didn't happened, i'm so dumb.. maybe i hope too much, should just give up hoping huh.
Now i know how she felt.. the endless waiting the disappointments she had when with me.
But then it' too late , i can't go back now. its impossible coz i hurt her too much and i will be hurting her more if i went back.
i hope she finds a great guy whom will treat her much better then me.. she always deserved someone better then me.
So many years of love for me , i know how much i broke her heart. and i feel really bad, i nv blamed her for the slap , it nv occurred to me i will be angry at all. It only made me realised how much i've hurt her already that she will do it to me..
i'm sorry .. I'm really sorry.. no matter how many times i say it, it will never be enuf.. i'll always feel sorry till the end of time..
luvYellow;1:35 AM
Saturday, January 9, 2010
At the saloon...
Hoho. Stuck on a chair right now. Coloring for hair. It's been so many years since I gave some color to my hair. I remember my last one was realli kimkim de lor lolz. Now old Liao can't choose too bright of a color.chose a choclate de. Office rule oso can't choose too bright yawn。aro sure hoot Kim Kim!wahaha.
Just organized a club night at butter factory tonite. Jio many frens throught SMS and FB. Haha. Donno who will go but I know the close ones will be there for me. Hehe. Go check it out since most of my frens haven't been there before. Go see see oso gd. Hope liquor don't too ex ah. Arbo pok. My new yr resolution is to save money lolz. =x
well hope will be a great nite and a very early happy birthday to myself ^_^v
luvYellow;3:23 PM
Saturday, December 12, 2009
It's been awhile...
Phew.. It's been so long huh..guess my blog is gonna have a big hole in between,have a proper pc Now since I passed my laptop to my bro and got myself a new power pc.many events had passed. Ray and beng's weeding was the biggest. A letdown was that I didn't event got half intoxicated..oh well..was very happt for both of them still. Yam sang till I lost my voice for a few days haha. Work is alright, BEARABLE lor. Note that I used this word..
now blogging on the mrt,on the way to parklane meet tw campmates for Dota. Js another day.
tmr will have something special on. A tour!lolz a marine fishshop tour ard sg. Ok la go 3 big ones not whole sg lolz. Met some people on a reef hobby forum then they jio de. I know zero people lor. Tmr js tag along,they got car lombang anyway. Coz marine FS(fishshop) all located at ulu places sia doink.morning 10+ meet at cck mac heng still not very far from me. Will try take some pics and post on FB. Hehe.
BTW all this sudden interest is because I'm setting up a new marine fishtank in my room. It's a 5gallon tank so is realli small de. Now 'cycling' the water so can't put any livestock inside for at least 1mth. Need to wait for water stablise and do frequent water tests. Simi mafun. Bur I believe when the day my tank is filled with beautiful sea creatures and corals,seen under a blue light will all the mei mei effect it will be worth it ^^v there's a few pics in FB where I posted a few seacaping pics of my tank rocks. Changed many times until I finally got a gd result which is benefical for me and the future residents : )
it's really my newest hobby haha. Making me shelf aside alot of my gaming time. Everyday reach home will stare at my reef tank even thought there's no fishys inside!LOL. Gingy buatahan me. Everytime got new hobby lolz.
Not as cheap as keeping a freshwater tank for sure. I spent almost $200 Liao bah on everythig till now,tank,equipments,test kits etc. And still missing out on a fan cooler,considering to change to a HOB skimmer oso. Haiz. All need money. When bobs come theb hoot again,I estimate I will have spent at least $300 by the time everything is setup in place. Hmm ex but very fun ESP the process. U won't get this satisfaction if u js buy a pre-made set from a shop =D
keep out for new posts from me huh. I believe I will gradually start to blog more again. Hehe.
Reaching my train stop lor. Have a gd weekend my frens ^__-
luvYellow;2:12 PM
Monday, July 27, 2009
Drinking days R.I.P
Been ages since i last blog right..well work has started and kindna deep in thoughts these days..wont be going into wat i'm thinking these days..anyway js wanna say time to live more for myself..donno wat i want oso recently so decided to have a new lifestyle to brighten up things..a few simple shoutouts with ah long on FB inspire myself to stop my drinking days liao.. "R.I.P drinking days" haha..oh well..i'm gonna force myself to go jogging after work tmr..been thinking bout tat in my head for so long but gonna realli do it tmr..b4 tat moment of genius i was brooding over some other stuffs.Dont wanna tok about it coz i dont wanna think about it too much too..no point thinking about it,..might as well find something else to divert myself..got my 1st payslip today from my new job..open up i saw the amount oso nv feel super happy la..but js gonna say i feel veyr reliefed bah..finally a paycheck after more then 6mths..phew..feel happy..finally money from a job which i quite like..days at work pass so fast when u actualli like the job..its getting dryer la..but i like the environment alot..alot less stressful..met a ex nafa fren on the train js now..he say "impt is to like the job"// and i agree with him alot bah =) tat was a motto of mind which i forgot down the road...will stop going to drinking so ofter liao..and will think of my jogging regimes more..now whenever i wanna drink think i will tell myself to go jogging instead..Healthy living FTW!
Whats love?well.. happy be togather not happy js dont be togather bah...and as long as u are happy means there is still love there...
Good days ahead..donno when i will blog again..but hope all the best to all my love ones and myself...
luvYellow;11:38 PM
Friday, July 3, 2009
friday..
Sorry i disappoint u today...know i made u very sad..just feel exhausted today and want some time alone..I do miss u.but i realli feel tired..
Actualli didnt thought my friday to turn out like tis,too bad i cant join the others for movie coz i already watched it.Going home was quite sian during the train ride.,.prehapes it was the feeling of loneliness bah.Was hoping for a wild nite.but didnt turn out to be like it..reaching home i js drop dead..not the work..work was fine today..it was the damm traveling.. i donno when then i can say i will get used to traveling to and fro betwn home and town..sheesh..sapping up all my energy..
Today my boss asked me i got gf anot..haha..so werid sia..anyway guess its nuthing la, pp will always be curious..nxt time my turn to ask them back..haha..but i know my boss married liao for sure.the others still not sure..mostly married i think hmmm..
My legs feel so sore everyday when i reach home..maybe its the shoe prob oso..maybe shd go buy a better 1 nxt time instead of my usual buget bata ones..hee.
Yahoo's site had a video of micheal jackson last rehersal for his world tour.. He realli looked tired..but the arua he gave on the stage is unbeatable still..well.. he's a great lost to music, he will be missed forever i can say..
Weekend lor tmr..do wat le?nuting planned out..haiz.. just rest bah..i need tis rest alot anyway...Happy weekend everyone anyway..
Oh ya and tks my "jie-meiS" for having dinner and drinks with me js now even thought they were on a tight schedule..
luvYellow;10:28 PM
Thursday, July 2, 2009
work work..phew
Work has started lor..today is my 2nd day..been quite gd actualli.New colleagues were all quite nice to me.And my upperstudy teaching me lots of things..but i still very blur la..haha..nv expect HR to have so much stuffs to do..all the paperwork is scary..but surprisingly i quite enjoy it compared to the ones i did in army..ok army us zzz la..of course anything oso will be nicer.lolz..
My work place is huge sia..i still can get bit lost ard after the tour i had..i mean the whole place is renovating so the route ard is quite confusing.I hope to get the hang of it soon though..every1 have their diff roles..not like previously i had to "bao ga liao".But my work alone i oso dying liao la..haha..i mean its realli my actual 1st admin job ever...very diff from my last data entry job years ago.
Oh i cant smoke sia during work..only chance is when i go for lunch sia..asked my colleague about it and she say its something like the image of the dept...hmm..and scare my boss later cant find me la..haha 1 very funny thing only today then i realise my manger who interviewed me was actualli my director..haha super blur me..lucky no1 know about it haha..i think... =p
Every morning i will alight at orchard stop then smoke 1 stick then slowly walk to work..morning orchard is so diff from the 1 in the noon and night..no1 on the street at all..haha..very quiet and peaceful.Well i know that my co. do have sponserships for further studies..so i can actualli take it up and go for a dip in HR studies nxt yr..hmm..see how.. myabe i will go for it..i donno la..now 1st few days i'm alright with the job of course..hehe..but i realli am happy i can work in a office environment..who says deskbound job sucks..haha..
Feel exhausted everyday after work ..reach home oso no strenght do my usual activities lor..haha..but its alright..i had such a long holiday liao ..its ok la..
my feel damm sore now..haha..stupid house too far..the travelling realli shag..realli gonna stay nearer to town nxt time..sheesh..Well..life is more complete now..no more waking up everday aimlessly..now wake up is faster chong to work.lolz..
Tmr is Friday lor..yuppy..can have a gd rest...never work full week oso feel shagged liao..phew..guess i will need abit more time to adjust to my new life ^^v
luvYellow;9:24 PM
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
The past, the present, the future...
ooo.. i js woke up..feel blur blur..i think i could had woke up much earlier..but i told myself i gonna start work tmr and there wont be much chance for me to wake up late on weekdays liao..so fast wor..tmr i gonna start work le..haha..finally..i've been slacking since last dec..i survived 6mths of nuaing..i enjoyed it but i wont say i will miss it alot actually.but i'm glad i can start life anew, away from my previous job.hope eveything will be ok..well..when the the going gets tough, the tough get going..
i js saw some very ancient pics from jiajia's blog..oh yes those are so old..can feel many memories coming back even though it was so long ago..those were the days when we didnt had much worries and js had pure fun with each other..actually i have some very old pics somewhere in my cupboard i think..those were the days when we didnt had any digicams and everything was in prints..nice actualli..being able to hold the pic and see is realli different..its a personal touch which the world had moved away slowly since time..
There are somethings on my mind recently actualli..i donno whether i shd face the problems or think of them as not problems as well..something form the past is coming back..old viewpoints..feelings... They aint good or bad.. but they have the ability to give me diff persepctive towards life..my thoughts has been swaying recently on something.. i'm a bit lost on tat matter actualli.haiz.. its like my decision to change a job u know.. Yes everything seems fine and stable..but now and then there are things popping up tat makes me wanna change..until the point which i js feel i aint truelly happy and i js breakdown and want out..Now i'm out i'm happy and glad with my decision..it was right and i never look bad..But not every matter is like that..not as simple as changing a job...For the current thing on my mind, Should i give it time to slowly show myself the right answer, but time might not show me anything in the end..shd i be decisive and make go head on into the problem...But i dont wanna hurt anyone..esp myself...which i've learned from the past...
The past weekend has been great fun..meeting up with the gals at the sg flyers, go river fest and shufen's birthday..Great having this group of friends which has been with me throught all these years.Really enjoyed my last week of holiday with them b4 i start my new job..haha..
For the future goals i will wanna save up a sum of money to go back into studies..i still donno wat i wanna go for,,but will consider properly, coz age catching up..being already more slower then my peers..i will have to decide on something thats not just a realistic career path course.but oso something that will interest me..so i realli need to decide properly ..sign.. not a easy 1.. nv easy to strike a balance in life isnt it?But 1st of all i still need to do well at my current job ..ahaha super happy its office hrs.. can finally have a set of mind that i can go for night classes..The pay is a big cut off form my last job..ALOT... a cutoff of $700-$2000... horrible..haha..no regrets of course.. hmm i wanna earn more then that nxt time...since young my target was always 5k u know..hee not a very big amount these days..But it havent realli changed for me at all..i think its a nice num bah..will aim for that..haha..Diff pp have diff aims right..no point taking up a unattatiable target..i've always wanted a simple life..hehe.. a beachhouse is my dream ..
I listening to 933fm now sia.. feel very retro..remembering last time in sec sch always listened to it wherever i go..haha..these days only hear my itouch liao..songs inside getting old but too lazy to put in some new ones..aiya most of the time i play game on it anyway..feel kuku when i go pubs these days..so many songs i donno liao..haiz..Do u all know There was a period when i went ktv at least 3 times per week?its a love and hate r/s now with ktv..lol.
Oh gingy is stuck at my house..coz her mum is undergoing chemo treatment and gingy's office have abit of h1n1 danger coz the company moved manpower from another office which had some1 ganna..then the pp from there who nv ganna will move over to her office..so gingy have to stay at my place for the meanwhile..she must miss her mummy alot..stay strong ok dear..muacks..
Watched transformer ytd.. most loveable char for us was the blackbird fighter jet "ah gong" transformer., so cute he had a walking cane.. overall a nice movie..alot of fighting scenes..megan fox was so hot.. o.O"' watch liao make me wanna buy the transformer game that js been released..lolz...but no la..no more time to play liao tmr onwards..haha..js like my gundam kits which will be at the sideline for awhile now..
Tmr wed liao..so alright la..gd or bad.i js gonna bear for 3 days then i can have a breather..looking forward to my 1st paycheck!ROAR!hahaha.. maybe will head down to causeway point for a cheap haircut.since every1 has been tellng me to go trim..Just go trim trim abit can liao bah i guess.. i dont want to look duu duu oso.doink...
luvYellow;1:18 PM
